The Universe Exists for My Amusement

The NY Times writes about how flying has been transformed into something worse than riding a Greyhound bus in Flying the Unfriendly Skies.

WHAT’S it like to be a flight attendant these days? That’s what I’ve often found myself wondering as I sit in my seat, waiting impatiently as yet another flight is delayed and my connection threatened, while around me are passengers fighting with each other over the lack of space in the shared bin, or complaining about having been bumped from an earlier flight, or swearing “never again” to fly this specific airline because they have been stuck in a middle seat even though they booked their ticket six months ago.

Is there a less-enviable, more-stressful occupation these days than that of a flight attendant? Just the look on their faces as they walk down the aisle — telling passengers that no matter how many times they try to squeeze them in, their suitcases are not going to fit into the overhead bin, or explaining yet again that they will not get a single morsel of decent food on this three-hour flight — tells you all you need to know of their misery.

It was a feeling that was reinforced when I glanced at an Internet chat board for flight attendants, airlinecrew.net, and came across postings like this: “I’ve been a flight attendant for 6yrs now, and I can tell you this much – if I’m still a flight attendant in 20yrs, I’ll be a raging b*tch!”

It wasn’t always this way, of course. Back in 1967, the best-selling book “Coffee, Tea or Me?” (subtitled “The Uninhibited Memoirs of Two Airline Stewardesses”) portrayed life in the air as a nonstop party, one to which the authors felt privileged to be invited. Another 60s artifact, the play “Boeing, Boeing,” recently revived on Broadway in a Tony Award-winning production, also pictured the life of stewardesses (as they were called then) as a glamorous romp, with suitors in every port. Most recently, the fictional ad executives on “Mad Men” were thrilled when they were asked to compete for an airline account, not only because of the business it would bring in but also because they would be in on the casting sessions for the stewardesses and would get to fly free. Oh, such fun!

It’s a fair bet that nothing about air travel today would inspire such rapture.

And the NY Times barely mentioned undressing for the TSA.